Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Remembering my mother

My mother passed on many years ago. She left in the wee hours of 19th. August, while i was on way to see her. The combination of bad road, vehicle breakdown and our Mizo custom worked together to deny me the sight of her body. Perhaps because of this, i can never picture her as ‘dead’.

And she is very much alive in my mind. She lived just for 54 years, and had to bear much physical suffering and heartaches. My biggest regret is that i didn’t do more for her, didn’t try harder to ease her pains.

My mother has given me a heritage beyond evaluation. I still miss her acutely, but rejoice that she was there to bring me up.

Some old pics here: 1) Parents, kid sis & me (big girl)
2) My mum with my baby





13 comments:

Calliopia said...

I so relate to this post, mesjay. It makes me sad too that I never really understood my mum's problems and worries, though after she died and all her responsibilities fell onto my shoulders, I often fervently wished I could talk to her for at least ten minutes for advice on how to handle problems around the house et al.

These are great pictures btw. Very well-maintained unlike mine. And your mother was beautiful - I like her features.

mesjay said...

@Calliopia, it seems we get to realise the worth of our parents more and more after they are gone. Brings to mind how kind we need to be every moment of the day.

My mum was supposed to be a good looker. Ppl from her old village even asked why i was so ugly, being my mum's daughter!

aduhi said...

Fifty-four is a very young age to die. I am so lucky that both my parent are still alive, I can't imagine them not being there anymore, life will be so empty and so unreal. And yes, your mother was very beautiful.

Something unrelated - I hate it when people write/say that so-and-so "expired", as if we were born with an expiry date stamped on us and our use-before date was up and we had no other choice but to be chucked out of this world.

mesjay said...

@Aduh, my mum was actually too young to die. Her health failed early and didn't recover.

It's a blessing to have parents still living. Love them all you can and make them as happy as possible.

Sekibuhchhuak said...

Hotunu nu leh pa i nei hmeltha hle mai.

Nu ka la nei a, nute sun natzia hi ka la hrethiam lo. Ka sun der fo, hmun hrana awm kan nih avang hian. Mahse ahun lo thlen tak tak ham chuan, a tak nen chuan a inang miah lova nga. Atak a a lo thlen hunah eng tiang tak hian sun ang i maw !

mesjay said...

Seki, nu leh pa te hi an lo hlu em ani. An dam lai hian theihtawpin an hlimna ngaihtuah ila an tana kan tih theih tawk ani mai.

Blind Dayze said...

Wow, like Calliopia has mentioned i must say really well maintained photos....

And at the risk of sounding cheesy.. maintaining good relationships with our parents in today's age is becoming more important..

mesjay said...

@Blind Dayze, the photos got a little blurred still. Yeah, it's sooo hard for parents and adult children to find time to be together--this is sad.

Mimihrahsel said...

I don't want to think about losing my mom. You're lucky in a way that your mom gets the chance to see your daughter. Would love my mom to hold my (future) baby one day, but I don't know, because she's already sixty now, and I'm still very single :-)

mesjay said...

@Mimi, may be it's time to wear the ring so your mum can hold your baby too! Btw, that's my son. My daughter was born more than a year after my mum passed away.

Mos-a said...

is that Steph/Sarah/Susan's mom? Im a bit confused!

Peer Gynt said...

it must've been devastating to lose your mother so soon. we all expect and want our own parents to live to a ripe old age.

i empathize about 'remembering her more alive than dead'. that's how it was with my grandmother's death. was told she was really sick and i was tearing thru traffic to be with her but had this really strong gut feeling that she'd gone. its gonna be 12 years now but i still so wish she'd been around for at least a little while longer.

here's wishing you live to touch a hundred mesjay for your children's sake

mesjay said...

@Mos, SSS' mom is my sis' and so my mom's their grandmom.

@Peer, that was a really sad experience esp. when you're so young. May be remembering her live was the positive side.

Nooo, don't wish me such a looong life. I'm ready to pack and leave as soon as my work here is done :)