Sunday, November 9, 2008

Who's innocent?

Are children innocent?
Cute, cuddly, chubby cheeks with cherubic smiles, kids can win your heart at a glance. But those angels' faces may hide imps' hearts. Dennis the Menace, Calvin and Hobbes and Lord of the Flies, though fictional, are true to life. Check it out with some real life samples here.

One year old Sylvie had a serious occupation: pulling clothes down from the bed and putting up shoes on it. Then she retired for the night at late afternoon and got up at 2 a.m., regularly.

My own four year old wasn’t an angel either. He assigned himself a daily chore of re-arranging shoes: all wrong pairs together, facing away from each other.

Kim, three and half year old, made her friend drink Amway liquid soap. But she was smart enough not to drink it herself.

“What does Mummy call you”? I asked three year old Ashwin.
“She calls me Da...” then changed his mind in mid sentence. “She calls me 'Monkey',” he said instead.

Zac, a wee little boy, had just started school.
When Zac's dad heard someone calling his son “Jackson”, he corrected him. “He's not Jackson, his name's Zac, short for Zachariah,” he said.
“But he told me he's Jackson,” protested the other.
“I'm his father, I gave him the name. So I know better,” Zac's dad had to assert.

Aby and Beny, two brothers, are a classic. They fought constantly. Then came time for Aby to start school. At the admission interview, the teacher asked “Do you fight with your brother?”
“No,” Aby replied. “I love my brother. Why should I fight with him?”

Beny also joined Nursery. One of the class boys said he was going to marry the pretty teacher when he grew up. Aby told that to Beny at home.
Aby, older and wiser, said, “By the time he's old enough to get married, the teacher will be in her grave.”
“What will she do in the grave?” Beny asked.
“Nothing. She'll just lie down,” Aby replied.
“Instead of that let her get up and cook for him,” was Beny’s judgment.

Then Beny got tired of studying. “When can I stop going to school?” he asked.
“When you get married,” they told him.
“When can I get married?” he asked.
“When you finish all your exams,” they answered.
The term exams came and were finally over after a week. Beny came back from school greatly relieved. “Mamma, I've finished my exams, now I can get married,” he announced.

The two boys were so boisterous their mother longed to have a little girl for a change. Her wish came true and Christie was born. But Christie didn’t behave much different from her brothers. When she started toddling, she drank distilled water. Her mother took her to the doctor. Soon after coming home, they had to run back. Christie had eaten mosquito repellant.
Their aunt, whom they address by her first name without any pre-fix, had an operation. As she was recouping, the kids sat on her bed and had a conference.
“The doctor cut Mamma’s tummy and three of us came out. But when they cut Bina's tummy, how come there’s no baby?” wondered Beny.
They thought very hard. Then Aby, the eldest, got a brainwave.
“In the old days, doctors were honest. They gave the babies to their mothers. But nowadays they keep the babies for themselves,” he explained.
Serious allegation!

Another kid told me he wants to become a dacoit when he grows up.

Well, these are our ‘innocent’ children. How about the rest?

(Some of the names have been changed to protect identities)