at the station
sweltering heat
milling crowd
engines roaring
loudspeakers blaring.
a soft sweet sound
bringing to mind
cool mountain breezes
green pine forests
rippling brooks
youthful dreams.
i searched
wading in the crowd
and found him
stark blind
gray haired
creased care worn face
a rupee coin in a bowl
making music
on a flute
tears stung my eyes.
does one who gives such delight
get so little?
i gave him a note
and listened on
dreaming of
grassy hillsides
singing winds
dancing streams
and happier times.
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13 comments:
Lovely and so evocative. So very few ppl have your gift for creating poetry out of everyday experiences so do keep writing.
@ Calliopia, now you really are the Muse. Thanks @ thanks.
Great poem Pi.
Just trying to learn a few pointers from here. The punctuations etc, is that done on purpose so as to give it "that style" or you didn't do a spell check? :) Just asking, hotunu.
I'm just picturing it with proper punctuations and I don't think it will be as smooth as it is right now... my real question is, did you first write with proper punctuations and later modified it to give it that feeling, or you wrote like this straightaway from the beginning? That would really help me, Pi Malsawm.
@Illusionaire, thanks for apreciation. That's a pointed question indeed!
Omitting some punctuations is deliberate here because i feel they're not essential, and would hamper the movement, as you've remarked. I wrote without the punctuations straightaway, though it'd be hard to explain if you ask 'why?'. Just using 'poetic license'he he!
u have such a great talent!
i envy you :-)
I loved these lines, reminds me of home when I'm here in the middle of a place where there are no:
cool mountain breezes
green pine forests
rippling brooks
youthful dreams.
grassy hillsides
singing winds
dancing streams
and happier times.
*sniff..
@Mimi, thanks but i'm not sure about 'great' talent. Anyone can write a poem when the heart overflows.
@Blackestred, sniff, sniff, we're both in the same boat.
...and now you've got me missing home! ah well.
@Feddabon, go climb some hill!
E khai!
Chutiang rimawi nalh leh ropui
Tumtu mihring chu!
A dinhmun a hniamin
A va berh si em!
A hmela mawina awm si lovin,
Rimawi ropui a rem si maw??
"tears stung my eyes.
does one who gives such delight
get so little?"
A mawi lutuk, Hotunu.
@Zaia, ani khawp mai. He khawvelah hi chuan chan a inrual loh rih anih hi. Mawi i lo ti chu ka lawm.
Hey Malaswami you really keep me going... by reading ur poem i really get the boost and motivation.. thanks...
@Meenu, thanks. Hope you keep going from good to better to best.
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